Wait and See:

Heard this song on the radio. There was a line that really stuck with me.

"still wondering why I'm here, still wrestling with my fear, but oh, He's up to something, And the further on I go, I've seen enough to know that I'm not here for nothing, He's up to something".

I have so many fears. Wishing I could just make them all go away.

Am I a good wife? Am I a nurturing mother to my children? How am I doing as a friend? Am I who I'm suppose to be? What's next for me...where do I go...where do I belong? I've been wrestling with these questions for quite sometime. I know I just need to let everything go and I will be guided into the direction of where I need to be.

This is still a learning process. No one is perfect. It's like trial and error. I make many mistakes, but I'm still trying and I will not give up. Praying that I become a better person. I pray for a more caring heart...it's not all about me...it's about the person sitting next to me that may need to have someone listen or a shoulder to cry on. Maybe it's me helping my mom out a little more, and not whining about all that she asks of me. Maybe it's spending more time with my husband and showing him that he's loved and appreciated. Maybe it's me volunteering at the local food bank or ? I know and now have faith that I will be healed in my fear of "being me". Sounds weird, but I hope it makes some sense.

Although I'm the "introverted" friend/mother/wife/etc...I'm looking forward to where I'm being led. I know there are "plans" for me.

**After reading this, it really is a bunch of rambling. But I decided to post it anyways, that is another fear: afraid that people may not want to hear what I have to say or that someone isn't listening. So blogging is a way for me to speak out loud.