Dancing in the sunlight:

Look what was dancing in our backyard this morning.

Just watching this hummingbird dance...fly...or whatever it does, made my day. They always bring me some sort of comfort. They always look as if they are in a hurry, moving their wings so quickly...but yet they are standing still enjoying their meal. Kind of makes me think...I'm always in hurry...I need to stop and enjoy all that is around me. Maybe we all need to take our time and feel, smell (the roses), hear and touch what's around us. There is so much beauty around us...when we are in a hurry...a rush...we may just miss that important "something". By something I mean...we could miss a sunset or sunrise that was meant for us to see. Don't miss out on a laugh from your child (listen and laugh with them)...or a gentle touch from your spouse (remind them you love them and how important they are to you)...a hug before you say good bye to someone you love (maybe just maybe you will never get that 2nd chance to do it).

Please try & enjoy every moment...even if it's as minimal as a smile from a stranger or a simple hello from your neighbor.

Baseball conversation:

This is the conversation my boys just had.

Connor: Let's play baseball

Charlie: ok

Connor: You be the hitter or you can be the catch guy

Charlie: It's called batter

Connor: Ok...hey mom you can play too.

Charlie: If I get hit by the ball I get to be the coach.

Connor: Can we be on the same team. Oh wait you have to be on the orange team and I will be on the red team.

Charlie: But I'd really like to be on your team. Ok well if I get hit I get to take a break.

They both crack me up...

Crawling...now (kind of) walking...next running!

Sept 28, 2009

Tired!! That's how I feel. Miss Audrey is a busy little girl. I don't remember Connor & Charlie being this active. Audrey is now 13 months old. She went from doing the army crawl to a regular craw to now standing up on her own and taking a few steps. Yayyy....or should I say nay! She is growing up too quickly and is miss independent. The other day I found her at the top of the staircase...scary for me...but not for her, she just laughed. Oh and this morning she climbed up on our Love Sac (bean bag), stood on it and did a belly flop on it. She keeps us busy, but I really don't mind...she makes my life fun!

Me a WHAT...a leader?

So is this what He has planned for me. To be a leader? I was asked to serve on the leadership team for my mom's bible study group. I've never considered myself as a leader...always a follower. I've been a leader once before and I'd like to think I did a good job. I was a underwriting manager in a corporate office, that oversaw three underwriters, 5-6 branches, sometimes 100 loans per month...and so many headaches. There is a difference between the leadership roles. Not sure if I'm ready for this new role...but someone thinks I am...so I'm ready to step up to the challenge. I've been challenged in so many areas in my life lately. All I can do is try my best and ask for help when needed.

***To be continued****

All day leadership training tomorrow.

Hmmmm....

Not really sure I'm writing about. It's been a long day. I took Charlie & Audrey to the Discovery Science Center today which was kind of cool. It was nice getting to hang out somewhere fun and with out a large crowd. At first Charlie didn't want to go, and in the end he didn't want to leave. We had a great morning.

My afternoon...that is a whole other story.

The Friend/Person I want to be:

A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope.

I miss her:

Talked with my cousin Tricia today...ok not really...just text back and forth. I miss my cousin, my best friend, my little sister...who has always been there for me no matter the distance between us. A couple of years ago she moved from California to Arizona and ended up in Texas.
We grew up with 3 houses in between our homes. She was my maid of honor. I was there for three of her children's births...I mean I was there...I watched and cried with her. I've never had anyone else in my life like her. Her kids are my kids, and I miss them so much.
Growing up we said we take trips together. (I still owe her a trip to Hawaii...you thought I had forgotten...didn't you?) We'd have daughters that were the same age difference as us...3 yrs and 8 months...well we kind of did it...our youngest daughters are 3 years 11 months apart. We said they'd be best friends like we were...kind of hard now that we live so far apart. We use to talk everyday, but now with our growing families and the busy lives we both have, it's not as easy. But I know she will always be there for me and I will always be there for her.
I think it's kind of cool that even though she is so far away, she still knows when I need someone to talk to or just a "hey I'm thinking of you" text or call. I'm blessed to call her my friend, sister and my "favorite" cousin.

**My last 2 posts have been about my best friends...I'm lucky I have a couple in my life, including my husband.

Trish...I pray you come home soon. I miss you and I love you. I want our kids to grow up together, just like we did. I miss being able to walk to your house and just talk about nothing and everything.

Our Friendship:

About 3 years ago our paths crossed. Wasn't until a year a later we started talking and hanging out. "I'm so thankful our friendship was part of His plan."



Love the fact that we are able to be "ourselves" around each other...even if it's just us been goofy and laughing at...well...anything!





We've been there for important moments in each other's lives...birthdays and holidays, from being pregnant to the births of our daughters...medical issues and your surgeries...from me being "lost" and now baptized. Good times and fun times...some hard moments, but we always manage to get through them with each other's help and love.

Thank you for your true friendship and for loving me as you do. Thank you for your prayers, they always mean so much to me. I hope I get the courage to pray with and for you soon.
Here is to many more years of an awesome friendship and to all of the new memories to be made.
I can thank you for so much more...I hope you know how much you mean to me and my family. Love you buddy!

Baptism Day @ the Beach:

**Where's Cindy?




**Walking into the chilly water.

**What a day! I was so nervous...why...because that's me! Everyone tried to calm me down, I was a wreck. Thank goodness for my family and friends, they all came to support me and showed me love like I've never felt. I was so blessed that day. I had my best friend walk and pray with me, which made my heart smile. As I waited for my turn to go into the water...I stood alone, until I turned and there was my love...my husband took my hand and told me he would always be there when I needed him. I love him! I will forever remember that wonderful day. It's the day I began a "new" life.

Miss Audrey's 1st Birthday:

***Happy girl! Thanks to Rachel for making this cute outfit for Audrey.




***Happy 1st Birthday***




**John & Ryan went out a bought an ice cream cake (cookies & cream)



**Cake #2 - John & Ryan went out and bought another cake...mint chocolate chip...because it's their wives' favorite. Our husbands are "the best."

Wait and See:

Heard this song on the radio. There was a line that really stuck with me.

"still wondering why I'm here, still wrestling with my fear, but oh, He's up to something, And the further on I go, I've seen enough to know that I'm not here for nothing, He's up to something".

I have so many fears. Wishing I could just make them all go away.

Am I a good wife? Am I a nurturing mother to my children? How am I doing as a friend? Am I who I'm suppose to be? What's next for me...where do I go...where do I belong? I've been wrestling with these questions for quite sometime. I know I just need to let everything go and I will be guided into the direction of where I need to be.

This is still a learning process. No one is perfect. It's like trial and error. I make many mistakes, but I'm still trying and I will not give up. Praying that I become a better person. I pray for a more caring heart...it's not all about me...it's about the person sitting next to me that may need to have someone listen or a shoulder to cry on. Maybe it's me helping my mom out a little more, and not whining about all that she asks of me. Maybe it's spending more time with my husband and showing him that he's loved and appreciated. Maybe it's me volunteering at the local food bank or ? I know and now have faith that I will be healed in my fear of "being me". Sounds weird, but I hope it makes some sense.

Although I'm the "introverted" friend/mother/wife/etc...I'm looking forward to where I'm being led. I know there are "plans" for me.

**After reading this, it really is a bunch of rambling. But I decided to post it anyways, that is another fear: afraid that people may not want to hear what I have to say or that someone isn't listening. So blogging is a way for me to speak out loud.

Soccer 2009

I'm officially a SOCCER MOM of two boys. Soccer season has begun. Not much to write about just yet. I will post some photos soon.

Celebrating Dad:

**This is a day late**

Happy Birthday daddy! We could never forget your birthday...ONE reason was you never let us forget. Oh the "subtle" hints you'd give us...like "my birthday is coming"...or "hmmm what's on August 3rd". Second reason was, celebrating your birthday was always fun. I think because you'd always take us to Laughlin or Vegas (your favorite).

I know you probably hate the fact that we decorate your grave with flowers and balloons. I could hear you now..."why do you waste your money on that crap". The boys have a good time when we visit you. I know you hear them when they talk to you. They love you even though they've never met you. Audrey just wanted to rip up all the flowers, she's CrAzy! John and I continue to tell them stories and show them photos of you. Charlie wants to know if you get to play with our dog Bear (I told him you do...it made him smile).

Yesterday was a good day for us. After we visited you, we went and had lunch at Mi Casa. Cory, Skyler, Kari and Jay were there and had lunch with us. It was a nice get together. We all shared stories and memories of you.

When I got home I had received a bouquet of flowers from my friend Melinda. She said she just wanted to put some sunshine in my day. It did! And also so many people thought of you as "their dad", rather than uncle, brother in law, etc. So many great memories from so many people that truly loved you as much as I loved you. I was so blessed to have such a wonderful, caring and loving dad. I miss you.

I have so many new people in my life...my children, my best friend Rachel, her family, friends from church...I wish they had the chance to have met you and know you.

Summer 09

Nothing major to post. Just wanted to say I'm enjoying the summer with my family. We've been busy!! John and I have been taking the kids on mini trips. Let's see...we have gone to the beach (many times), Knott's Berry farm, Seaworld, Old Town San Diego, Disneyland (of course) and just hanging with family and friends.

Connor's last day of preschool:

Ok so it's not "high school" graduation. But still my oldest has just completed preschool. Connor is now five years old and will be in kindergarten this fall. The morning was chaos. John had to go to jury duty so he couldn't make it. My mom, Kari, Brett, Chuck, Joel, baby Jay, Rachel, Carissa and of course Audrey & Charlie were there for the special event. All of the promoting classes performed special songs & some danced...it was so cute. There were some very animated children and there were a few that did not move a muscle. I've got to admit, I was a little emotional when they played the slideshow.

**Connor I'm so proud to call you my son. When you are older I will tell you all about how God blessed us with you. We prayed everyday that we would have little ones...you were are first...now we have three special blessings. I thank God for all the special moments in your life. You are such a kind hearted young man. I love that you are able to show others affection, you have such caring personality. You are a good friend, son, brother...etc... At such a young age, you are a godly person, you've taught me so much about myself and about God's love...thank you. You're also our little comedian. Thank you for always making me laugh and cry in a good way. I love you buddy.

Love ,

Mommy

**Just read this to Connor and of course I cried. He said "thank you mommy".

The past week:

Thought I'd just do a quick play by play of the past few days:

June 21st: Father's day. We packed up the car and headed to the beach. John shopped for a surfboard. Played at the beach for a bit.

June 22nd: My BFF Rach's birthday. We celebrated by hanging out at Glen Ivy Hot Springs. We both received massages...oh it felt so good. My niece Kari met up with us. Had dinner with my Uncle and cousin later that day.

June 23rd: Headed to the beach again. John bought a surfboard. Hung out at the beach with kids and watched John surf. Another great day. Audrey's new favorite place and loves to eat sand.

June 24th: Took the boys to school. Hung out at Rach's house before heading to Audrey's doc appt. My pool little girl had to get three shots and to top it off she has two more teeth coming in. She was not having a good day. I picked up the boys and went back to Rach's house and watched her kids, so she could get her hair done. The kids always have a good time with each other.

**Busy week so far...with no break in sight**

Happy Father's day Daddy:

Dear Daddy,
I miss you so much. Tomorrow is Father's day. Oh how I miss your hugs, I even miss you pinching my arm. Just to feel your touch just once would make me smile.
I took the boys to two baseball games today. We first went to our friend Benny's playoff game, and his team won! Later in the evening we went to the Angels vs Dodgers game. I could just imagine the look on your face if you saw the boys in their Angel shirts. And I know what you would tell them..."you can't wear that in my house"...and then you'd grab them and hug them and tell them you were just joking around.
Dad, Connor is almost finished with preschool, he will be in kindergarten in the fall. I can't believe how quickly he's growing. Charlie & Audrey are growing just as fast. They know so much about you. They even tell people stories about you, that I've told them. They ask so many questions. The question they often ask is how did you get sick, and why did God take you. I know they are too young to understand, it was hard for me to understand at first. How could God take the best man I knew away from us...but I understand now Dad. You're home now. I love you daddy.
**Happy Father's day**

Love - Cindy

Question of the evening:

I attended a memorial service today for my great-aunt Remidios (Mayo). Heard a few family speak about her. The question of the evening was "how will you be remembered"? It has me thinking...I can't answer that question just yet.
Guess I can say TO BE CONTINUED...

Here are a few more:

Decided to add a "cute" skull to this sweatshirt:



I made the fish t-shirt for my nephew Jay:



Who says ties are for boys only?



A "punk" shirt. Tried to make it look like suspenders:



I'm enjoying my new hobby. Thanks to Rach for showing me a few pointers & tips.

Plain Shirts No More:

Just me and my boys:

The boys and I decided to spend the day together. Audrey stayed with grandma Ofie and we went to Disneyland. We had a great day. Of course the first ride we "had" to go on was Buzz (Astro Blasters?). We went on a few more rides, visited with Mickey, had lunch and did a little shopping. The boys bought Audrey a pink "my first" Minnie that plays music...she loved it. It was nice getting to hang out with the guys...but we all missed daddy and Audrey.

Blogging:

Still trying to figure out this "blogging" stuff. What should I talk about? I will think of something soon.

She has an infectious smile : )

My Audrey's smile brings me so much joy & happiness. I love her!

My Little Guy is turning 4 : (

My little guy Charlie is turning 4 tomorrow (May 9). He tells me that he won't be my baby anymore and that Audrey is my "new" baby. Charles is named after my father, who passed away 6 years ago. My son loves that fact that he shares his Papa's name.

Charlie is so loving & funny. He really loves animals, especially dogs. He has a collection of many stuffed dogs on his bed. "Doggie" is his favorite buddy to sleep with, along with his blue blankie. I don't know what we'd do if we ever lost one or both. Every morning Charlie wakes up holding these two items and has to have them next to him at breakfast. I wish he didn't have to grow up so quickly...time goes by so fast. Next thing I know...he'll be graduating from high school and going to prom.

3rd Day in N.Y.

Today is our third day here in New York. It has been chilly the past couple of days, no rain today. Here is how our day went.

1. Breakfast with family: Me, the kids, John, my mom, Grandpa & Grandma Lardner, Favorite Aunt Mary, Cousin Jessica, Aunt Chrissy & Uncle John.

2. We then walked to the subway station. Took the C train to the Natural History Museum.

3. Walked around the museum. I think our favorite part was looking at the all the dinosaurs. The kids loved it.

4. We then took a taxi to the Central Park Zoo.

5. Had lunch prior to entering the actual zoo.

6. Walked around the zoo...the kids wanted to see Alex the Lion...the zoo had no lions. But we did see lots of birds, polar bears, red panda, sea lions, monkeys, penguins...and some other animals. Not a large zoo at all.

7. Walked around Central Park, something I've always wanted to do. It was gorgeous. The trees and flowers have started to bloom.

8. Took subway back to our hotel.

9. Picked up pizza and ate at the hotel

10 . John took boys to dinner and Audrey and I stayed back. I was so tired and sore from all of the walking.

11. Bed time!!! Tomorrow...Empire State building...Fire Museum and ???

2nd day in N.Y.

This is how our day went:

1. Woke up had bagels and coffee
2. Walked...walked...and walked some more to the ferry.
3. Took the ferry around the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island...didn't get of the ferry because it was raining and very cold.
4. Walked...walked and walked some more, back to our hotel.
5. Had a late lunch. Yummy turkey sandwiches.
6. Met up with my in-laws. The kids were so happy to see their grandpa and grandma Lardner
7. Took a taxi ride to Macy's. I was in shopping heaven...Macy's has 9 floors.
8. Trying to hail a taxi in N.Y. is crazy...took a taxi ride back to our hotel.
9. Met up with my sister-in-law and bro-in-law
10. Had dinner with the family. Kids loved seeing our family. It was great.
11. Time for bed. Long day tomorrow!!

First day in N.Y.

Connor wanted me to call his teachers to tell them we were in N.Y. So I told him we'd keep a journal of our trip, that way he could share with class when we get back.

First thing this morning we boarded our plane that was to leave at 7:45...and then was told to exit the plane, which would then reboard and depart at 9:15...got off the plane and then was told to get back on the plane...WHAT??? I have 3 children, don't they realize how difficult it is for me and John. Any ways we made it on time to New Jersey. The kids did great on the plane. I was told I have a great family...that comment made me smile.

We had a driver pick us up and take us to our hotel in lower Manhattan. The boys loved it that we were in a limo. We traveled through a long tunnel...that seemed like there was no end. We pointed out the Statue of Liberty to the boys. Connor said she looked like a robot.

We arrived at our hotel. Unpacked and headed out for pizza. Pizza in New York is so different...it's just so YUMMY!

Long day of traveling...we are all so tired. Hopefully the rain will stop.

Family Time:

So it's spring break for my boys. We decided to make a quick trip to the Colorado River. We found a campground near the river. The kids are having a great time. John bought the boys fishing poles and took them fishing today...they didn't catch anything. Connor is collecting rocks, for what I don't know. Maybe he'll start a pet rock collection. It's better than the mice and hamster he wants...yuck!! Charlie and I took a well needed nap together. We were so tired and grumpy, we needed the rest. Audrey...I don't think she's too fond of the whole camping thing. She's use to her crib and has a hard time falling asleep somewhere else. She's sleeping next to me tonight. We'll see how that goes. Last night was tough...no sleep for me. She's our little diva...knows exactly what she wants and knows how to get it. We are in trouble when she starts to talk.
We are headed back tomorrow. I can't wait to get home and meet my great-nephew Jay. I've seen pictures of him, he's adorable.
Going to bed now.

A New Addition:

What a wonderful & blessed day. My niece Kari had her baby this afternoon. My great-nephew Jay Andrew weighed in at 8lbs 1oz...20 1/2 inches. Big boy for such a little lady. I'm sitting in our trailer, typing away. We are spending a few days at the river in Parker, AZ. I can't wait to meet the new little guy and hold him.
Thought about my dad today. Kari was his first grandchild. His pride and joy. She went everywhere with her Papa. He would be so proud of his great-grandson.
We are all so happy for our new addition to our family. So thankful that both mommy & baby are healthy and happy!

My Three Little Buddies:

What a wonderful life I have, to be a mommy to three amazing kids.

Love:

Love: a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

Have you ever felt a love so strong...a love that nothing can compare to? Not even the love you receive from your husband, your children or any other can compare to this love. These past few days I've been thinking about what Jesus has done for me. Who in their right mind would sacrifice his own life for me? Who would give up his life for all I've done wrong? Who would love me that much, to take a beating, to be dragged, get spit on and worse, nailed to a cross and die for me. Only ONE person. I'm forever grateful for what He has done for me, my family...for all of us. I can never repay Him for what he has done. But I can try and love others like he has loved me. I can teach my children about Him...to know him. I can share stories of all the good that comes from knowing Him.

This Past Week...

...has been a little hectic, yet fun. We started out the week by going to the Oritz house. My friend Desiree always knows how to throw a good kid party. She had made pins for the kids with their names on it. There were flower pins for the mommas. We played games out front, like toss the egg, hot potato and had a sack race. The kids later searched for the hidden eggs in the backyard. Lots of food and yummy cupcakes. A great day with good friends.

The next day (Monday) I decided to keep the kids home from school. Made breakfast for the family. We did a little running around and then came home. We took advantage of the beautiful summer like weather. We sat around the pool and let the kids play in the kiddie area of our pool. There was no way I was getting in...it was too cold. Later that night we had a BBQ which is always nice on a warm night.

On Tuesday we were invited to go Legoland with the Frederick's. The boys were so excited when we told them we were going. They had been asking us to take them for the longest time. We couldn't pass up the deal Jamie had. It was a nice day, but a bit crowded. The boys enjoyed the rides and Legos. Grandma gave them each Easter money, so they bought a couple Lego sets.
After Legoland, we went and had dinner at Hensley's Flying Elephant Pub & Grill. What a neat restaurant, there are black and red walls with accordions & lots of photos & paintings hung up. The restaurant is owned by Matthew Hensley...a former professional skateboarder and accordionist for the band Flogging Molly.
Ok gotta go...Audrey is crying. This week is not over yet...so stay tuned for more!

Oh and wait...I've also started sewing a few things. Nothing major, just a few "cute" things for Audrey.

Friends @ play:

Perfect day with great friends. Rachel and the kids came over today, to hang out. The kids played pretty much the entire visit. We had lunch and ice cream...yummy! The weather could not have been any better. We snapped some pictures of all the kids, great memories! So blessed to have family friends like the Heisers. I love the fact that our children get along despite the age differences. My kids were worn out. I was tired too...but still needed to make dinner. Poor Charles started to doze off at the dinner table...he ended up falling asleep while watching a movie. I started a new project later in the evening...I will reveal what it is later, if it turns out ok.
Time for bed it's late...brand new BEAUTIFUL day tomorrow. Hanging out with some more friends tomorrow.

Prayer

I found this in One-Minute Prayers for Women:

True Devotion

Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful ** Colossians 4:2

God, can You work with me on my commitment issues? Build in me a desire to pray. I want to be a disciplined follower. Steady my spirit to stillness. Quiet and solitude prepare me for Your presence. Direct my eyes to be watching for Your answers, watching as my prayers are heard and responded to. I want to see and recognize Your work in my life.
Cause my faith to grow, Lord. Each day that I come to meet with You, may I know You better. Replace my ignorance with Your knowledge. Help me be strong in my commitment to You. Show me how to pray, Lord.

Ok so one of my BIGGEST fears is praying. I also fear public speaking...so praying with others is not really an option for me right now. What is it that I'm afraid of...that the person will judge the way I speak...am I choosing the correct words? I'd love to do it. I want to do it. Maybe I should JUST DO IT! What do I have to lose right? I've had friends and family pray for me and with me. Why do I struggle with it so much? It's not a big deal...it's a HONOR to be able to pray for others and yourself. It's an HONOR to be loved and cherished by Him. Having my prayers answered or sometimes not answered is an HONOR to me. (Not sure why I used the word honor) I have so much respect for what God has given me...so why not talk with Him everyday...get down on my knees and give him THANKS.
I'm working on it, praying. I've even started reading my daily devotional out loud...it's a start right?

...to be continued.

A Day At the Beach...

Since Gaven (my brother-in-law) was visting us from Indiana, we decided to take the him and the our kids to the beach.  We dressed...well we thought we were dressed for beach weather.  When we got there it was soooo cold.  We walked along the bike path, we warmed up a little.  And then we walked along the Huntington Beach pier, watched the surfers and dolphins play in the water.  Charlie thought the dolphins were sharks because he could see their fins.  After our walk we went and had lunch at Duke's and had some delicious, yummy hamburgers and chips.  

Although the weather was not lousy...we had a good time just hanging out.

My Lucky Blessing:

Happy Birthday to my little man Connor John.  

Five years ago...on March 17th...we were blessed with a little boy.  My how time flies.  Connor has been counting down to his birthday for the past 3 weeks.  He is so excited about turning 5...as for me, I will most likely cry tomorrow.  He tells me he's no longer my baby..."mom, I'm a big boy now".  

My husband's family is from Ireland...how ironic that our 1st son was born on St. Patrick's day.

So tomorrow we will be going to Disneyland for the day & his choice for dinner is Dave & Busters.  Should be a great day to celebrate.